My random thoughts on the subject
I’ve been thinking on the subject of love a lot lately.
I don’t know why that is, maybe it’s because we just left the month of love, or maybe because I’ve been thinking a lot about a special person, or maybe it’s just the music I’ve been listening to.
But it’s been on my mind, especially what love is and what it looks like.
I believe pop culture has done us a great diservice in the way love is presented to us. It's shown as this wonderful thing that just happens to us outside of our control, and that's supposed to be the beautiful thing about it, that it just happens spontaneously.
And we see this most especially in the words and phrases people use to describe love.
We say a person has "fallen in love" or that it was "love at first sight" or the one I find most ridiculous, that "love is blind"
Those phrases never made sense to me, and now that I understand love a little better I find them even more ridiculous.
I don't believe we can "fall" in love, anymore than we can love "at first sight." Or that love is "blind"
On the contrary, I believe love is deliberate. We don't fall into it, we choose to love.
And so it cannot be at first sight because to properly choose, you need to know what
you're choosing. You need to have properly evaluated the pros and cons of what you are choosing.
Outside of that can you say that you've properly chosen? Or loved?
So love also cannot afford to be blind because to choose, you must see what you're choosing and see it for what it is.
In thinking about love, I often make reference to the cross of Christ because I’m certain that there is no better expression of love than that displayed on the cross by Jesus. And like someone once said, Jesus didn’t "fall" on the cross. It didn’t just happen. He thought it through, and thought that you were worth dying for. Nor was it blind because he saw you clearly, so all that you were, saw all that you would be, and still thought you were worth it.
That’s what love is. Love sees clearly, and is deliberate and intentional. Love chooses you inspite of your faults, but is not blind to them. Instead love helps you be better.
This is of course not to say that feelings aren't important in love because they have their place. After all what would love be like if I didn't feel butterflies in my stomach, or feel the pleasure of spending time together whenever I saw the person I loved? But inspite of that, feelings are a fickle thing to build a relationship on. Because you could just as easily "fall out" of love. But when you've made a decision and a commitment to a person, that's pretty difficult to fall out of.
So I hope you find love like this, one that sees you as you are, faults, strengths and all, and still chooses you because you’re worth choosing. And that you choose someone too, not just because they’re available or they make you feel a certain way, but because you really see them for who they are.
But most importantly, I hope you come to know and experience the love of the one who thought you were worth dying and suffering for.
Because believe me, there’s no greater love.